barnacles.
in hollywood, the bad guys always get their comeuppance.
rocky kicks the shit out of mr. T.
james bond drops that guy into the smoke stack.
james spader’s left alone to wallow in his own douche-y-ness…
while molly ringwald and blaine get to go make out in the parking lot.
oh man… and that scene in ‘dead poets society’, when the kids all
stand on their desks and clap, one by one… that kills me.
i count on those moments in real life.
that kind of karmic payback.
i waste years waiting for it….
and you know what…. it never shows up.
the whole cafeteria never abandons the bully’s table,
one by one, to join mine.
instead life just fucking rolls on. YEARS roll on…
and the only one left holding the past is me.
the dalai lama’s big thing is…. “fact is fact.”
as in… “what has happened is over. stop worrying about it,
and figure out how you are gonna move forward from here”
i have been doing that well lately. took 36 years, but it’s happening.
i narrow my focus to the crucial things and the world just cracks open.
it feels like plugging into a wall socket with the right voltage.
the petty shit is petty shit.
and i just glide…
right now though, not so much.
right now, my side of the world is asleep.
and i’m wide awake.
listening to an old creeper lagoon EP
and letting my brain kick me around.
October 18th, 2009 at 7:21 am
Zora Thurston said “There are years that ask questions, and years that answer”.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:31 am
There are so many people who would love to have achieved the level of success you have and be singin’ in your shoes right now. Thank you for the reminder that, no matter our successes (or failures), we are all still human, grappling with similar emotions and issues.
October 18th, 2009 at 8:34 am
Barnacles - Is that a Spongebob reference?
Sounds like you had quite a bit on your mind last night. I like to think that karmic revenge holds true - you just might not see it.
I hope whatever past demons were tormenting you leave you alone today. After all - you’re in AUSTRALIA! Live it up!
October 18th, 2009 at 10:39 am
Matt I love the increased involvement with the blog entries. Keep it up. They make my day!!!
October 18th, 2009 at 12:27 pm
Please don’t let the past steal from your amazing present and future. You bring joy to so many. Count me among them. ♥
October 18th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I always read everything you write, but never leave comments… Well, today I feel like doing it. Everything you write (specially your songs) is so inspiring, and I know it sounds cheesy, but I really identify with everything. Like this post… I always feel like that. Wish life was like the movies, sometimes. Anyway, you sounded upset… I hope you’re ok, and whatever is boring you, well, I hope it disappears. Have fun in Australia.
P.S.: Dead Poets society kills me everytime I watch it!
October 18th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
I love your blog. I tend to find your humor refreshing. I’m normally not the sort who would comment. However, when I find myself clinging to the past a little too much, reminding myself of this saying helps:
Trust the journey
Everything happens as it should
Don’t regret the past
It got you here
I don’t know who said it, and I surely don’t remember where I found it. I just happened upon it one day, and it stuck with me.
Best wishes to you.
October 18th, 2009 at 11:12 pm
Jet lag? Sadly I was also awake, as I have a terrible sleeping schedule. Hope post-tour is treating you well.
October 19th, 2009 at 2:53 am
It’s a lot like attending a high school reunion. After the initial reacquainting follows an awkward realism that X treated you, and most likely others like crap. And even if they’ve claimed a puppy dog and rainbow lifestyle, you run into them later and see that time really hasn’t been kind to them. It may not be your definition of comeuppance but somewhere, someone is rejoicing.
“But someday when you’re outta here and you’ve forgotten all about this place and they’ve forgotten all about you, and you’re wrapped up in your own pathetic life, I’m gonna be there. That’s right. And I’m gonna kick the living shit out of you.”
October 19th, 2009 at 8:46 am
I believe Karma always happens, one way or another.Its just that sometimes u never realize, its not always obvious and sometimes it happens in a different manner. U don’t always get the satisfaction of knowing, its just life
October 19th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
I am in agreement with Katrina’s choice quote. Maybe in addition it’s just that some are blessed to know the difference between the bully and protector of the underdogs.
In times like those I always listen to the Rolling Stones “You can’t always get what you want”. It may not put the problem to rest but it does make you nod your head like Yeah!
If all else fails never underestimate the power of Cheer detergent. This is serious bidness!
Peace.
October 20th, 2009 at 2:44 pm
I just heard “Come On Get Higher” on last.fm…Still my favorite.
As far as your blog: I have lots of those nights, only I’m not on the other side of the planet.
Do you ever wonder if someone else on Earth is thinking or feeling the exact same thing that you do, at the exact same time you are? And what are their eyes focusing, blankly, on? What are their hands, mindlessly playing with? What kind of chair are they sitting in? What type of light are they in? And are they wondering the same thing about you?
Hoping you are able to get some sleep…
October 21st, 2009 at 8:51 am
The barnacles contribute to the real-ness and soul of your art, but suck like hell to live through. I love that word, though…barnacles…makes me laugh out loud actually. More because of a person who snuggled in bed like a barnacle and then I felt like I was drowning (oh please laugh here). I guess misery does love company to some extent; seeing your writing helps me grapple with my own, er, seaweed or something, and it all sounds along the same lines. Thank you for what you do and I wish you continued success and good times, and love (the barnacle-free kind).
October 21st, 2009 at 3:17 pm
long time listener, first time caller
live for today my friend, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Life is what it is, have to love it and take a minute every once in a while to feel that bay breeze on your face.
Karma does not forget — all of those bullies have now lost thumbs in recent Snack Pack stealing capers. Sleep sound tonight, the opposable thumb is what sets us apart from the monkeys…they have returned to their rightful spot in the hierarchy of life.
lml (>_<) lml
October 21st, 2009 at 4:01 pm
dude, we all feel ya.
sometimes i think it’s unfair that i’m the only one still mulling over something in the past but then i realize that it’s my own fault for not letting it go and moving on.
love the blog!
October 23rd, 2009 at 5:27 pm
Those movie moments do happen when you least expect it, and of course when you are not looking for them. It’ll surprise you one of these days. Also about the deodorant: it doesn’t work no matter how hard you try. Hope you made it to the botanical gardens in Sydney, well worth it and sooo rock & roll.
October 24th, 2009 at 2:25 pm
if karma ever pays me back
I’ll be rich
If suffering ever pays them back
they’ll say sorry
and in my next life …
I know I will never have to meet them again and they owe me nothing
I’ll be free
October 26th, 2009 at 2:48 pm
So, I write books - romance novels - and the one I’m working on now is about this really tortured firefighter who got burned a couple years ago. He’s fighting PTSD. Hasn’t head a clear head in two years. He’s fighting the way he’s falling for the one woman he knows he can never have. And all the while, as I’m working on this book, as I’m writing this hero’s words and the scenes where he just can’t stay away from the heroine no matter how much he needs to, your song “Come On Get Higher” is playing on repeat on my iphone. Over and over and every day I hear something new in the beautiful song. And then there’s that line “I see angels and devils and God when you come.” Genius. And exactly what my hero is feeling.
So thanks for your beautiful music, and good luck moving forward.
Bella
October 28th, 2009 at 2:16 pm
See, this is the funky part of being an artist. All the crap happens to you so that you can write about it, and we can enjoy your pain. SOOO not fair, but at least you have the creative outlet, right? And you’re in Australia, and SF is cold, cold, cold right now.
October 28th, 2009 at 7:34 pm
matt ! i absolutely do not mean to bash your delightfully eclectic blog entires, but in dead poets’ society i don’t believe there’s clapping in that scene (maybe i’m wrong?) if it’s the one i’m thinking of. there’s the ‘oh captain my captain’ one at the end, and the one where robin williams has everyone ‘yawp’ from atop his desk. not so sure about clapping. just a thought.
your music, humor, and wit are an apex of musical greatness and for that i applaud you
molly
wellfleet, ma
October 29th, 2009 at 7:39 pm
The Dalai Lama’s blessing is doing good things to your psyche. I’m enjoying being a witness to the crumbling of the old and I know that what emerges is going to be different. I’m happy for you! Congratulations!
November 16th, 2009 at 12:39 am
I’m surprised to learn that you are 36. I’m so glad to find out that I am NOT a dirty-old-woman for finding you so incredibly attractive. I love your music and lyrics and I appreciate the place you are in right now - with learning to live in the now, let go of the past, see what is important (what is now) and go with it. I am right there, with ya!
Doesn’t matter how long it took us to get here, important thing is - we’re here now. xoxo, L
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