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i missed the sopranos finale.

ugh.
totally sucks.
my flight took off in the middle of the east coast, HBO feed,
and it landed 10 minutes after the west coast feed started.
have you ever heard of anything so cruel?
i have to say, i did feel a bit of unspoken camaraderie with my fellow
passengers… even if none of them seemed phased.
i know they were.
cause they too had picked this cursed, Soprano hating, flight of evil.
and they too were left unsatisfied.
does united own showtime? cause it actually seemed premeditated…
and while i’m asking the tough questions,
i have a few unrelated ones….
is dr. Phil a real doctor?
ok, how about dr. laura?
i have a bet riding on this… come on, wikipedia!

so today i spent the day pimping my ass,
and avoiding talk of anything soprano.
i stepped right over the USA Today that
taunted me outside my room this morning…
i avoided the radio…
but i’m on a promo tour, so i’m spending A LOT
of time rubbin’ elbows with the peeps.
and it was bound to surface.
i started most conversations with “ok, i missed
the soprano’s last night, so PLEASE don’t…”
and i’m proud to say i almost avoided it completely.
‘the breach’ as it’s become known, took place at
starbucks HQ… around 11:43 A.M.
after an interview for hear music’s XM station…
where i taped a show called ‘artist’s choice’
and talked about 10 songs that i love (the list is below)…
my man “richard” (name changed for his own protection)

told me that they ended the series with a journey song…
“don’t stop believin’.”
i’m not sure what part of him thought telling me the final song of the
final soprano’s episode constitutes NOT telling me anything about
the final soprano’s episode…
but it’s fine.
like any breach, you don’t deal with could-a, should-a, would-a…
you just close the gap politely, and move on.

i am now on a flight to minneapolis.
for a whirlwind tomorrow of more
‘nice to meet you’s’ and ‘thanks for having me’s’
i’m hoping HBO minneapolis will be having a
midnight re-airing of the show.
if i can get my bags and a taxi quickly enough, i’ll make it.
if not, i’m going late night breaking and entering
into every house in the greater minneapolis/st. paul area,

until i find a tivo that is singing my song.
i know it sounds dramatic, cause i have it tivo’d at home…
but i’m not home until friday.
and i can’t wait until friday.
and that’s not the point.
the point is:
this world is a minefield, people!
and… desperate times call for desperate measures!
and… a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush!
and… necessity is the mother of invention?
a stitch in time saves nine?
anyway, you get me…

and p.s.-
i’m sure if you asked dr. phil….
that lying, M.D. masquerading, chump ass,
he’d say the same thing.

p.s.s.-
-THE SONGS I LOVE (PICKED OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD)
FOR MY XM ARTIST’S CHOICE PLAYLIST-

the band- the night they drove old dixie down (from the last waltz)
regina spektor- summer in the city
def leppard- photograph
u2- with or without you
indigo girls- cedar tree
r.e.m.- the flowers of guatemala
queen/david bowie- under pressure
van halen- little guitars
bruce springsteen- born to run
the mountain goats- love, love, love